He knows it;)

To say that I am contented with the life I'm living now, that's true.
To say that I miss all the things I've left behind, I don't think that's wholly true.
There's just too many reasons why I'm loving the life I'm having now compared to the one I previously had, and as the desire to write has finally presented itself upon me after a series of unexpected events, I guess this is going to be a long one.

Some memories from my childhood are still as fresh as an apple that is waiting to be plucked.
When I was around 7 years old, I really love to ride bicycle along the vicinity of my house every evening. The wanting inside the 7-year old me kept on telling me to bike as fast as I can yet Mama never forget to tell me to mind my speed and not to bike carelessly. It was a painful evening when at one time, I rode the bicycle as fast as I could and press on the brake too quickly for the sake of adrenaline rush, yet lost my balance and fell with my left knee first to suffer the surface of the road. Well, the one-inch long wound on my left knee and some other bruises were the prove of whatever being said by my mom is for a reason.
Too bad that I didn't realize it earlier the fact that I've been taking for granted the advice from my Mama which could have kept away the pain from me, insyaAllah.

That specific instance that is derived from my childhood is just another example how I generally tend to take lightly the benefit behind every sacrifice that I could have made in my life so far. Just because that my heart says that "I love that thing, so I'm not gonna stop doing it!", I missed the benefit behind the deed of forsaking the act.

“…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (Surah Baqarah: 216)

That was an instance from my childhood. Well, I do have another one to be shared here.

It was 3.14pm, and I just got out of the bus from UB North and I saw in front of my very eyes, I behold the sight of the Collegiate Village shuttle leaving me speechless and alone at UB South. The next shuttle's gonna be at 4.45pm, and walking all the way home would take me around 45 minutes, yet the weather seems to be too cold for me to handle. The calmness inside me was overwhelmed with the anger that I had on the shuttle that I think is lacking in space and frequency to accommodate the number of students for so many times so far.

And so I got on the NFTA Metro 13A bus which I once saw running to one of the stops at Kensington Avenue which is just 10 minutes walk from my apartment, not knowing that it won't take me back to my apartment straight away.  Almost half an hour of my way home was spent on trying desperately to reset my mood and lamenting the bus for not going to Kensington Avenue straight away. To make things worse, the bus stopped at Utica Station and I need to get on the next bus in order to get back home.(and I need to pay for another ticket...haih~).
Then I got on the next bus and just waited for the bus to take me home. While the bus was turning left at a traffic light, I saw a man who I believed to be in mid-30s with his wife and kid were waiting for the bus. I thought the bus was going to stop for them at the stop, but it happened otherwise. The bus just left them and the man who was holding his kid in his arms raised his right hand to stop the bus while looking pitifully at it with his wife.
Maybe that looks normal in daily life, but it was out of my control that I suddenly had some kind of great sympathy towards that family which was left by the bus. They were without transport at the time and the weather won't be too kind on them, or at least on their little kid. The way they were left by the bus is somewhat similar to how I was left by the CV shuttle, but he was with his family but I am alone, so I think my situation is neither equal nor worse than of theirs. I wish I could stop the bus for them and let the whole family in, not wanting them to wait longer in the coldness.

The sympathy that I suddenly had for the family then turned into something else. Instead of lamenting and complaining on too many reasons, I suddenly feel hugely grateful to at least be on the bus without needing to walk back home or wait longer for another shuttle at 4.45pm. The way I started to make a U-turn from depression to thankful was beautiful. The way He showed me how lucky I am was indeed beautiful. I thought maybe after I missed the shuttle, I am going to get nothing but wasting my time to get back home, but I was wrong. I was showed by Him to be grateful for the blessings that I have now instead of complaining too much on minute matters.

I thought that being on the shuttle is the best for me, but I was taught a more precious lesson after missing the shuttle.

To speak in a broader aspect, to get what we don't want initially does not mean that we're getting nothing at all, but we're getting precious lessons on things that we might not be expecting at all. Therefore, keep let's keep our eyes open for His blessings in disguise that might present itself as a trouble at first, but if we managed to put the trouble aside, we'll have the blessings, insyaAllah.

I got home at 4.00pm with some precious lessons to be pondered upon.

"To say that I am contented with the life I'm living now, that's true.
To say that I miss all the things I've left behind, I don't think that's wholly true."

Thanks to Him that I've tasted the bitter and lost what I thought that's gonna be the best for me, but he showed me what's better for me. Alhamdulillah.